Do You worry about what others are thinking about you. If you do, then you are in good company. You are not alone. All of us want to be liked and appreciated by others. But when we start to worry about it and start changing our personality and lifestyle to please others then we are heading for big trouble. That will destroy our peace of mind, distort our behavior and make us lose our identity. That is serious.
This artcle will help you to live life at your own terms and give two hoots to what others are thinking about you. Here are the THREE Super Sutras to empower you to deal with these dilemmas.
SUPER-SUTRA-1: SUSPEND YOUR EGO.
Your ego tells you that lot of people are thinking about you. This may hurt our ego but here is a wonderful quote from Eleanor Roosevelt that should be an eye opener to all of us.
Truth is that people spend more time thinking about themselves than thinking about others. If they are expressing an opinion about our life, it is probably not something they have given deep thought to but just a passing thought. Hence, do not take it too seriously.
SUPER-SUTRA-2 : DO-IT-YOURSELF.
Nobody else can live your life. Others may have opinions but nobody knows better what is best for you than yourself.
You need to learn about yourself through your own mistakes and failures. Stop worrying about the opinion of those people who are always criticizing, are unsuccessful or unhappy. Mostly, the negative feedback comes from negative people. Get more positive people in your life. But mainly, focus more on your own opinion and self analysis. Not on what you are told by others.
SUPER-SUTRA-3 : BAN THE FEAR OF REJECTION.
We fear, perhaps more than anything else, being rejected by others. Constantly seeking acceptance and reassurance from other people is a dead end.
We can take inspiration from some examples.
Author J.K. Rowling was rejected by 20 publishers for years. If she would have stopped then there would be no Harry Potter book today. The business idea of Howard Schultz was rejected by banks more than 100 times. If he would have cared for their opinion then we would have no Starbucks Coffee shops today.
Both of them gave two hoots to the opinion of others. They believed more in themselves.
THE TAKEAWAY
When someone rejects you, do not feel that you are unworthy. How do you know whether that person had the wisdom to grasp what you had to offer. Life is more about investing in yourself rather than trying to appease others and find the fault somewhere else.
Ghalib has captured this beautifully in this couplet. “Umr Bhar Ghalib Yeh Bhool Karta Raha, Dhool Chehre Par Thee, Saaf Aaina Karta Raha”. It means, I kept on making the mistake to keep cleaning the dust on the mirror to see myself more clearly till I realized that the dust is not on the mirror but on my own face.
It would be hard to put it better. Let me repeat. Give two hoots to others and have the courage to stand alone and be counted.
That is the best way to live a life.