How many of us realize that ALL our relationships are affected by what and how we converse. We are doing that 24×7 with spouse, children, office colleagues, strangers, friends. We are tagged as boring or a great company purely on how we converse. When people say that you are a very interesting person and they seek your company – they are actually referring to your skill of art of conversation. Alternatively, you are also avoided because you cannot converse well and appear boring.
Have you ever wondered how some people can walk right into a social situation and strike up a conversation with anyone about anything without awkwardness or boring topics? What if you were able to do the same? Talking about the weather or the latest Netflix movie may appear as a waste of time, but these small interactions can serve as the foundation for deeper bonds.
Here are the four powerful mantras to master the art of small talk.
Mantra-1 : Power Of Body Language
The very first thing people will notice while making small talk is your body language. Throughout the conversation keep an eye contact and appear attentive to indicate that you are interested in the conversation. 80% of communication is conveyed through the body language, voice tone and facial expressions. Visual signals are extremely important when listening to someone else.
Facial expressions are a giveaway whether you are bored, interested or mentally somewhere else. Beware.
Mantra-2 : Use Icebreakers
During a small talk, there may come a situation when you are out of sorts and topics, but you want to keep talking to the person. Use some icebreakers to find common ground. You could say “What do you think of the play today?”, compliment the other person “I really like your shoes”, “Tell me about the first car you ever bought.” Or “what was the last holiday you had and where” & so on. Once you do that, the conversation will lift off.
Icebreakers are an important part of your conversation toolkit to avoid those awkward “pauses” when everyone is staring at each other without speaking.
Mantra-3 : Be An Active Listener
The best way to kill a healthy conversation is to make it all about yourself. Imagine a stranger shows up before you and starts talking about himself. A smart conversation would be to talk about the interests and life of the OTHER person. Everyone loves to talk a bit about their life and interests. Make them do it and they will love you for it.
In short, listen as much as you talk.
Mantra-4 : Finish off on a Brighter Note
The idea behind the small talk is to keep it light while avoiding sensitive and heavy topics. Therefore, ending the small talk on a brighter note is crucial. Debra Fine (Author of ‘The Fine Art of Small Talk’) suggests that when it’s time to leave, always thank the other person for their time and express gratitude for being with you. Even if you do not want to meet that person again. You never know about the future. That’s why it’s called an “Art Of Conversation”.
The Takeaway
Small talk is a skill that cannot be mastered overnight. It is one of life’s most powerful trait to possess. It is one of the best kept secrets of successful people. All successful people work at it diligently and continuously.
You may have a great IQ, knowledge and wisdom but if you can not convey it to others, it is not of much use to you in personal and professional life. The so called “Small Talk” is the key to “Go Big” in real life. It can make or break your growth in building relationships and climbing the professional or social ladder.
It’s THAT critical.