Daughters are special. Ask any father!
One of the most touching stories of this relationships is about President Harry Truman and his only child – daughter Margaret.
She trained for 7 years to be a pianist. She requested her Dad to keep his day free to attend her opening performance. President Truman flew down to Los Angeles to attend the performance. At last moment, it was conveyed to Margaret that her Dad would not be able to attend due to some urgent official work. She was heart broken but went ahead. After the performance she stormed home crying and screaming to where President was. It went like this.
Margaret : Dad, why did you not come. You could not spare a few hours for the most important day of my life.
President Truman : But I have never left this room the whole day and watched every minute of your performance and have felt so proud.
Margaret : This upsets me even more. Then why could you not come even for half an hour.
President Truman said : Darling, I did not come on purpose. Today was one day when I did not want to take the limelight away from you.
Are you a father and love your daughter but still find a void in your relationship with her? Rest assured that you are not the only one. In the parental journey, the onus of raising the child primarily falls on mother’s shoulders and fathers are seen as a support cushion. And that sometimes leads to not-too-close a relationship between a father and a child – especially daughter.
Do you feel yourself reeling under a similar situation? Then time to start giving your relationship with your daughter a priority is NOW.
Importance Of A Healthy Relationship With Daughter.
Daughters’ perspective of other men is shaped through the standards set by their fathers. A role model, a hero – a daughter’s first opinion of a man is formed through their father, and it is bound to affect their future relationships with other men – whether it is a friend, a colleague or husband.
A study carried out by the U.S. Department of Education revealed that children of highly involved fathers were 43 percent more likely to perform better academically than other children.
Why Is Father-Daughter Relationship Complicated?
If not in person, you may have witnessed a myriad of issues between fathers and daughters depicted in many movies. In Piku, we saw Amitabh Bachchan’s character wanting to hold on to her daughter, looking at her as his only support, and Piku (Deepika Padukone) willingly or unwillingly, obliged. In Angrezi Medium, we saw Irrfan Khan imbuing the sensibilities of every protective father who is wary of their daughter’s every move. Unfortunately, that only pushed away his daughter in rebellion.
The Most Common Problems In A Father-Daughter Relationship.
Lack Of Clarity
Much has been talked and written about how mothers should take care of their child, but how fathers should tread this delicate path of parenting – especially with a daughter – is somewhat ignored. Mired with confusion, some fathers wade through the journey by trial and error method, and some just leave it all to their partner. And if it’s a girl child, they might further conclude that mothers are more adept at understanding and dealing with all sorts of female issues. This is where the issues start arising.
Absenteeism
It is not just sons who look for football sessions and gaming nights with fathers, girls too need quality time with their fathers – to learn the nitty-gritties of life from them, to view the world through their eyes.
How Fathers Can Improve Their Relationship With Daughters.
1. Be There
Daughters always need a trusted aide to vent out her feelings, or to clear her clouded mind or just to make right decisions in life. Fathers can apply their worldly experiences and can be of great help.
2. Understand Them
When listening to your daughter, know that there is a huge generation gap which might lead to the conflict of opinions, and you should weigh both the sides to reach a common ground.
3. Support Them
Fathers are not just supposed to support their daughters financially. Also supporting her aspirations, decisions, even hobbies, will help her develop into a strong woman.
4. Clear Communication Lines
Daughters should be able to turn to their fathers for everything. Keep the communication line between the two of you open, and you shall find a life-long friend in your daughter.
5. Respect Their Freedom
It’s true fathers are supposed to look out for their daughters, but there is a thin line between being protective and intrusive. So give her independence to make life choices and be there backing her and guiding, along with protecting her.
The Takeaway
A father lays the foundation of psychological development of girl child. It is the sense of security offered by him that leads to her optimal sense of self-worth in the future. The love, affection, care, empathy, further amps up the cognitive and emotional development of the child.
Daughters are a Godsend gift, cherish it!